I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So vagazzling was a success
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
