Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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