Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
