Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
