32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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