Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
