just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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