My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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