We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
