You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Damn victory sex feels great
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
