I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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