So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
