Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
