i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
