I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
