My first STD was from a foam party
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
