she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just gift wrapped bread.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
