It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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