...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I need help removing her.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
