Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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