If i come over, it means nothing
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
