All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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