Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
