My underwear smells like fireworks.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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