Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
