Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
