Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
