there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
