and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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