READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
