i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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