I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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