ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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