friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
