Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
