Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
smell my finger.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
