I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
