In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
