Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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