I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
