I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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