It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is it because I queefed?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
