Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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