FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
ok first of all what the fuck
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
