R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
