Small penises have feelings too.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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