Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
