Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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