i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
