One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
